


Hey, Can I Ask You a Question?

by Scarlet_Absol_13



Category: Gundam 00
Genre: Gen, Post Movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 02:37:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18730033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet_Absol_13/pseuds/Scarlet_Absol_13
Summary: About a year after the ELS invasion, Tieria returns to the Ptolemaios with another new body and Mileina makes it her mission to ask him every question about being a living supercomputer she can come up with much to Tieria's dismay.





	Hey, Can I Ask You a Question?

It had been nearly a year since the ELS invasion had ended, and Tieria Erde had once again returned to the Ptolemaios with a physical form. He found that not much had changed in his absence.  There was one small change though, one that he was doing his best to try to grin and bare lest he find himself without a body again.  It seemed that Mileina Vasti had made it her mission to get to know everything she possibly could about his status as an Innovade.  And he knew that if he did anything to make the seventeen year old cry, her father would probably throw him out an airlock without hesitation.

“So Tieria,” Mileina said one morning, “Since you’re basically a living super computer, if you get sick, should we give you medicine or install an anti-virus program?”

Tieria sighed. He was thankful the teen had finally agreed to stop calling him “Mister Erde.” She had been reluctant at first, stating that she had always been taught to show respect for adults.  But after he reminded her that they she was almost an adult and they were practically siblings, there was no need for such formality.    “I wouldn’t recommend medication, since I’m intolerant to most pain medications, including over the counter medication. Since most fever reducers are also pain medications, the best course of action would be-”

“Find a way to install an antivirus program then, got it.” Mileina interjected.

“No,” Tieria sighed, “The best course of action would be for me to rest until the illness runs its course.”

“Would it even be possible for you to get a human illness?” The teen asked.

“Yes,” Tieria responded, “You know I’ve been sick before.”

“Yeah I know,” Mileina said, “But that was before you had lost your first body.  I wasn’t sure if maybe you had like given yourself an impenetrable immune system with this body or something.”

“I went with the same “settings” as the first two bodies I’ve had,” Tieria explained, “So I can still get sick.”

“So I take it you didn’t do anything about your eyesight either then,” Mileina commented.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Why not?”

Tieria sighed, “Because my vision was coded in the human DNA used in my base type,” he said, “Even with Veda, I don’t think I would have had the ability or the resources to edit the human DNA used. Plus I would be worried that if I changed some portion for the better of the DNA it would change something else for the worse so I didn’t want to risk it.”

“Oh, I see,” Mileina said, “So, can you get computer viruses?”

“No Mileina.”

“How do you know?”

“Can computers get human illnesses?” Tieria asked.

Mileina smirked as if she had been given a gift “Well, you can.” She stated matter-of-factly.

Tieria sighed and internally smacked himself in the face, “I…walked right into that one didn’t I?”

“Oh yeah!”

“I need a coffee…” Tieria muttered.

“You never answered if you could get computer viruses or not.”

“If that were possible, I think Ribbons would have found a way to use that against me,” Tieria responded.

“Yeah, something like that would have been right up that asshole’s alley,” Mileina said, “I guess you can go get your coffee, I don’t have anymore questions _for now_.”

Tieria sighed as the teen walked off.  He was almost terrified of what she was going to come up with.  He then made his way to their kitchen, hoping that they still had some of that extra caffeinated espresso because he had a feeling that he was probably going to need it.

* * *

 

Tieria woke up to the beeping of his communicator.  In the off chance that there was some kind of emergency he grabbed the small device along with his glasses.

When he was able to read the text message he had been sent he found it consisted of a long sequence of ones and zeros from Mileina.

“Mileina…What…?” He texted back.

“Hey, can you decipher that for me?” She responded back moments later.

“Mileina it’s two-thirty in the morning.”

“Yeah I know, Lyle and I kinda lost track of time playing that new battle royale video game.  He sent that to me after our last match telling me to have you decipher it. So it made me wonder if you’re fluent in binary code.”

“Computers haven’t used binary code in almost two hundred years Mileina. Go to bed.”

“I guess you’re right.  So is binary code like an ancient language now?”

“You could call it that.”

“But can you still decipher it?”

“If I link up with Veda, yes. But it’s twenty of three in the morning and I want to go back to sleep and you should really go to bed.”

“Will you decipher it later on then?” Mileina asked, “Like I said, Lyle sent it to me and he won’t tell me what it said.”

“Yes, I’ll decipher it later on. Go to bed.”

“Good night!”

* * *

 

“So what did that binary code say!?” Milelina exclaimed as Tieria walked into their dinning room for breakfast not even six hours later.

“Mileina, I’ve been awake for literally ten minutes,” Tieria responded, “Give me a while.”

“Okay,” Mileina responded.

“I’m surprised you’re up this early given how late you were up last night,” Tieria responded.

“Oh I didn’t end up going to bed last night,” Mileina responded, “I ended up in a lobby with some awesome players right after you went back to sleep and the next thing I knew it was already morning.”

“You were up all night?”

“Yeah, I’m used to it though.”

“That’s not healthy.”

“I know.” Mileina responded, “So, could you tell me what the binary code says now?”

Tieria sighed and took his communicator out.  He linked with Veda, “This…doesn’t make any sense…”

“What does it say?”

“It says G-I-T-G-U-D-N-O-O-B,” He spelled out.

“OH I AM GOING TO KICK HIS ASS!” Mileina exclaimed, “He’s the noob who needs to get good! I beat him like fifteen times last night and he only got me twice! Where is he? I’m gonna beat his noob ass!”

Tieria sighed as he dumped a third shot of espresso in his coffee. He wasn’t sure why Lyle knew how to translate three hundred year old slang into a three hundred year old computer language.  And he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.  

* * *

 

 “So Tieria,” Mileina asked as Tieria internally groaned, “Do you ever have to undergo software updates like regular computers?”

“I don’t think that’s how it works with me…” Tieria said.

“Well how do you know?”

“Based on how they work with normal computers, I think I would know.”

“But what if the updates happen while you’re asleep?” Mileina asked, “You would never know about it.”

Tieria opened his mouth to argue but Mileina was absolutely right, “I…might have to look into that…” He muttered.

“Ha ha! Yes!” Mileina cried, “I finally asked you something you don’t have a solid answer for! That’s one point for me!  I guess I’ll let you off the hook for the rest of the day.  I’ll try to think of some more good questions to ask you tomorrow.

Tieria sighed as he tried to mentally prepare himself for whatever Mileina had in store for him.

* * *

 

The following day Tieria, Mileina and Feldt were working on a fairly new operating system for some of the older mobile suits they had in their possession.

“So, what programming language were you coded in?” Mileina asked, “Or do you not know?”

“What?” Both Tieria and Feldt asked.

“Well I figured someone had to program the Innovades,” Mileina responded, “So I was wondering if you knew what language it was done in.”

“I have no idea,” Tieria said, “I can imagine we were programmed decades ago so yeah, I have no idea.”

“There must be a way to check,” Mileina said.

“I’ve already been through almost every single file in Veda’s databanks,” Tieria said, “I never came across that information.”

“Aww, that’s a shame.  Can you imagine how long it must have taken to write every function of the human body and then some in a programming language like Java?” Mileina asked, “It must have taken _years!_ ”

“Java is such an old, primitive programming language,” Feldt said, “I highly doubt they used Java to program Innovades. It's so inefficient.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Mileina said.

“The programmers involved probably had to come up with their own programming language,” Feldt said, “Since I don’t think any of the programming languages I know about would be an efficient way to program an Innovade.”

 _“Oh god…they’re both in on it…”_ Tieria thought, “ _At least Feldt isn’t asking questions too…”_

“That makes sense,” Mileina said, “Damn looks like I came up with another question Tieria had an answer to…I’ll have to try harder next time.  I’m gonna go grab us some snacks!”

Once Mileina left the room Feldt turned to Tieria, “What was that question all about?” she asked.

“Mileina has been bombarding me with questions about being an Innovade,” Tieria explained, “Yesterday she asked me if I was fluent in binary code and if I ever experienced software updates.”

Feldt sighed then laughed, “Oh boy,” She said, “She’s probably just curious. I think all of us are curious about it but Mileina’s the only one who’s brave enough to ask the questions.”

“Yeah I know, I’ll humor her for a bit,” Tieria explained, “Plus I’m hesitant to upset her, out of the fear of what Ian would do to me.”

Feldt laughed and placed her hand on Tieria’s back, “Hang in there.”

“Another question,” Mileina said as she walked back in the room, “Do you ever experience random glitches?  Like you’ll just be walking down the hallway one day then all of a sudden you find yourself on the floor without a clue how you got here? Or you inexplicitly start talking backwards or something?  Or you just randomly pass out for no reason?”

Tieria sighed, “I’ve never experienced anything like that,” He said, “So I doubt I would ever deal with something like that.”

“I think it would be kinda funny if you did to be honest.”

“I can imagine it would be a serious problem if Innovades dealt with random glitches,” Tieria said, “Especially for those of us who act as mobile suit pilots.”

“Yeah I guess that would be a problem…”  

“When you think about it, humans deal with all kinds of random “glitches,”” Feldt said, “Like when you suddenly forget a word you were planning on using. Or when you walk into a room and forget why you went in there in the first place.”

“Huh, I never really thought of it that way,” Mileina said, “Alright, that’s all the questions I have for now.”

Tieria sighed and looked over and Feldt and mouthed “Thank you.” Feldt just smiled and nodded.

* * *

 

For almost the remainder of the day, Mileina had been unusually quiet and it seriously worried Tieria.  He knew that she had a doozy of a question up her sleeve and she was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to ask.  It wasn’t until dinner where Mileina looked over at him with a mischievous look in her eyes.

“Tieria, I have one last question for you,” Mileina said, “So do you have a hard reset or power button like most computers do?”

“Why would I have a hard reset button?” Tieria asked.

“I don’t know,” Mileina responded, “But when I was younger I read this manga where they had human-like computers. They weren’t quite as high-tech as what you are, they were basically just robots.  But all of them had a power button. So I was wondering if you had something similar.”

“Where…exactly where these “power buttons?”” Tieria asked almost terrified of the answer.

“Well the manga never showed where the power buttons were on the male models,” Mileina said, “But on the female models it was the g-spot.”

The only two people in the room who didn’t have a visible and almost visceral reaction to Mileina’s comment were Mileina and Setsuna.  Marie just kinda stared at the seventeen year old in confusion. Allelujah and Feldt both choked on their drink.  Ian also stared at his daughter with a look that was a cross between horror and awe.

“The WHAT!?” Sumeragi screamed before staring at the girl in shock.

“HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE G-SPOT IS!?” Ian exclaimed

“WHAT THE **_HELL_** KIND OF MANGA DID YOU LET YOUR KID READ IAN!?” Lyle screamed.

“I didn’t think that series had that kind of thing in it,” Ian exclaimed back, “It looked completely innocent!”

“What’s…a g-spot?” Tieria asked sheepishly.

“I…would also like to know what that is…” Marie said sheepishly.

The rest of the people at the table gave their “I’m not telling him, you tell him” looks for various reasons.

Finally Sumeragi sighed and cleared her throat, “Well, it’s a particular spot up a woman’s privates that can be used to pleasure her sexually,” She explained while still blushing furiously, “Men have one too, but it’s in a different place.”

“So _that’s_ what that is…” Marie muttered.

Tieria looked at the seventeen year old with a mortified expression, “I can assure you I don’t have such a thing…” He said slowly.

“If you ever needed to “hard reset” Tieria all you would have to do is knock him out,” Lyle said trying to dispel the heavy awkwardness that had settled over the entire room.

“Yeah I guess that would work too,” Mileina said, “I would know what do if it were to ever come to that.  Well, I’m all set.  Call me if you need me!”

After Mileina left the room the others slowly turned towards Tieria.

“Would you care to explain what that was just now?” Sumeragi asked.

“Mileina’s been asking me all sorts of random questions about being an Innovade,” Tieria explained softly, “For the most part, they’ve been stuff like “if you get sick, do we use medication or an anti-virus program?  Are you fluent in binary code?” and “do you experience software updates like a normal computer?” I apologize for the trouble that last one caused.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Sumeragi asked, “You didn’t ask that question.”

“I feel like I should have tried to put a stop to her questions before it reached the point it did,” Tieria said.

“It’s _Mileina_ ,” Sumeragi said, “Is there really any stopping her from asking those kind questions?”

“I guess not,” Tieria responded.

“Man, you handled that question like a champ Tieria,” Lyle said.

“I’ll talk to her about asking you those kind of questions in “appropriate” situations and not at the dinner table,” Ian said.

“Thanks Ian.”

“Gotta say though, that kid’s a genius,” Lyle said, ““When you get sick should we use medication or an antivirus program.” That’s a good one.”

“Lyle,” Tieria said, “How do you know how to translate words into binary code?”

“That’s how my school friends and I would pass notes to each other in high school,” Lyle explained, “If you got caught passing notes or emailing your friends during class you would have to read what the note or email said out loud to the class. By using binary code, a code no one really uses anymore, we could get away with saying whatever we wanted without having to worry about anyone else knowing what it meant if it got intercepted by a teacher.”

“I don’t know why I’m surprised that you used binary code to break rules.” Tieria sighed.

“Funny, enough binary code was so basic and primitive that even the program the school’s computer system used to catch and decipher encrypted messages never once caught or decoded any of our messages.”

“I hope they didn’t spend a lot of money on that program,” Tieria said, “It couldn’t have been a decent program if it couldn’t flag binary code…”

“That was almost twenty years ago, Tieria.”

“Binary code has been around for centuries.”

“You’ve got a point there,” Lyle responded, “I think they ended up getting rid of that program for a better one after I graduated.”

* * *

 

A few hours later Tieria was reading his favorite book for the umpteenth time when someone paged him from outside his door.   He marked his page and went to see who it was.

“Hey Tieria,” Mileina greeted once he opened the door.

“Hello, Mileina.”

“Hey I’m sorry for the trouble I caused you at dinner,” She said, “I’ll be sure to ask you embarrassing questions in private from now on, okay?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re reading that book again?” Mileina said as she noticed the book in Tieria’s hand.

“Yeah,” Tieria responded, “It’s one of my favorites.”

“So, you know how you can delete files off a computer, can you delete some of your memories if you wanted to?” Mileina asked, “Like could you delete your memory of that book so you could read it for the first time over and over and over again?”

“I’m sure if I had someone to help me, I could find a way to delete certain memories,” Tieria said, “But it’s not something I would ever do.  My memories make me who I am and I wouldn’t want to change that.”

“That makes sense,” Mileina said, “I can kinda remember what you were like when I first met you and I’m not sure anyone would want you to go back the way you were back then.”

“I think you’re right.”

“Well have a good night Tieria.”

“Good night Mileina.”  

**Author's Note:**

> This was fun to write. I'm not sorry. A few things went in a direction I wasn't anticipating. Yes, I was referencing the CLAMP work "Chobits" near the end there. I'm also not sorry for Marie's comments there.  
> Hope you liked it~!


End file.
